Monday, December 11, 2006

only the deepest of my observations...

It must've been years ago when I first noticed them...protruding ever so slightly, imploring me to wonder why? how could this be? surely this is some surreal dream induced by the days events and reverberated in my unconscious as I lay buried in a thick layer of warm blankets...but no, this was reality and there was no way around but to accept it, this society had reached a place far beyond anything modern science could explain. I was reeling in dismay for I had once viewed this a sacred thing not to be desecrated by anyone, especially not some purveyor of pretend plastic people. ..and now look at me, i've become desensitized to what I once thought to be utter madness...


what was this insanity you ask? what is this outrageous behavior?


...nipples. its all about nipples. for the past several years i've noticed a dramatic rise in the number of nipples on mannequins. its a problem that's been spreading like wild-fire throughout the mannequin community, and I believe it to be directly related to risky behavior. Studies show that there is a direct correlation between the increasing trend of same-sex relationships between mannequins and the rise of NIPS (nipples in plastic syndrome). On top of that, it is also believed that mannequin on mannequin crime is up due to NIPS as well. This is a serious problem facing not only the mannequin community, but the rest of the world as well. In fact, recently I've noticed the disease mutating in response to pharmaceutical companies use of experimental drugs to contain the problem. For instance, I was absolutely shocked to find one mannequin recently who had puffy nipples!


Something must be done about this pandemic. The Bush administration has failed to respond to thousands of letters from experts and well-informed citizens alike who have warned of NIPS and are fighting to prevent NIPS from decimating the mannequin community. However, the Bush administration seems too interested in containing the much touted "Avian Flu", which has taken the lives of at least several people, to worry about NIPS.


Without your help the NIPS outbreak could destroy the mannequin population and, in turn, trigger a global nuclear arms race. Please go to now and donate so that together, we might find a cure for this debilitating disease.


Repost this right now or your legs will fall off and you will grow nipples on the stumps where your legs used to be and on top of that you will never find love. ...not because of some curse related to this post, but more because you'd have nipple-stumps for legs.